


Under Cover

by Yeah_JSmith



Series: Ruff Stuff [8]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, F/M, Minor Injuries, Nick Being Sweet, Self-Esteem Issues, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-21 23:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14925443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeah_JSmith/pseuds/Yeah_JSmith
Summary: Judy finally tells Nick why she's been so distant. They both come to realize that there is still a pretty big rift between fox and bunny culture. But they'll deal with it like they deal with everything else. (Takes place during Shadowslayers, Inc.)





	Under Cover

**Author's Note:**

> This necessarily had to be separate from Shadowslayers, Inc. because the tone is very different, but it takes place during the case, right after they get tea with Eden Rose.
> 
> I tried to post this right after I posted the main story but for some reason AO3 wouldn't let me do it, so here it is now.

She was stalling.

Nick knew she was stalling, firstly because he wasn’t an idiot, and secondly because she had tells. Her laughter was a little too loud, she was fidgeting, she was pretending to eat the food he’d made just to have something to do with her paws. Nick knew that if he wanted this conversation to take place – and he did – then he would need to initiate it on his own. So with a great sigh, he put his paw over Judy’s and said, “Relax. Whatever it is, we’re a team.”

She blew out a breath and said, “I know. I’m sorry, Nick, I’m just nervous.”

“Well, don’t be. I’m sure whatever’s going on with you can’t be any weirder than actresses getting haunted.”

“No, I guess not.” She stood and gripped the hem of her sweater, turning away from him. He immediately got a bad feeling about the whole thing, but he allowed her to carry on at her own pace, because pushing her would do nothing good. “Just, um...don’t freak out, okay?”

“Okay,” he said warily.

Nick hissed as Judy lifted her sweater and he saw the mess of scabbing across her upper back. The lines were along enough in the healing process that he wouldn’t have smelled any blood, but he could tell that they were new. Her nose wiggled and her shoulders drooped. 

“This is...what  _ is  _ this,” Nick asked her.

“I...had an accident,” she replied, hugging her own torso and turning so that he couldn’t see her face at all anymore. 

“An accident? It looks like you got in a fight with a feral wolf!” She flinched and his eyes narrowed. “You didn’t...right?”

“Just an informal sparring match, and he wasn’t feral. And he wasn’t the one who, uh…”

“Clawed you.”

“No, that’s not how it went,” she protested vehemently. “See, I flew out of the ring and Grissom  _ caught  _ me, but it was awkward. He grabbed the back of my shirt and just happened to get a pawful of my back too. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. It’s just...it’s really gross. I know you hate my scars.”

“What,” Nick said.

“The ones on my cheek especially. I know those are really ugly.”

“Cripes, Carrots, is that really what you think my  _ problem  _ was? That they’re  _ ugly?”  _ She twisted her paws together, obviously anxious about the situation, but Nick was too annoyed to put the conversation on pause. “Do you really think I’m that shallow?”

“I...Mary says it’s a  _ thing,  _ that males don’t like to see it-”

“I don’t like to see you  _ hurting  _ yourself! And you stopped, so as far as I’m concerned the scars are just part of you. You hid this from me, though. Even if I did think scars were ugly, have I ever given you the impression that I would leave you if you came home with more? I know the risk of officers getting injured is high. If I cared about that, I wouldn’t  _ support  _ your dream.”

Her ears were flat down her back at this point, and she was looking down at the floor. “I just...want to be pretty for you. I get a lot of...a lot of crap, okay? A  _ lot.” _

Finally they were getting to the heart of the issue, he thought as her defenses dropped. He didn’t understand, though. What “crap” would make her think she should hide injuries from him? “What kind of crap?”

“Just...you know,  _ haha,  _ look at this, bunny can’t decide whether she’s a breeder or a predator! I’m too lean and muscular to be a pretty bunny, but I’m no vixen. It shouldn’t bother me, I  _ know  _ that, but I just...I don’t fit, and I feel ugly  _ all the time,  _ and now there’s this, and I don’t  _ know  _ if you think I’m pretty because we only ever sleep together if I bring it up! I don’t want to be superficial, but...I mean...just because I’m not a typical bunny doesn’t mean I have to completely ignore my appearance – and I feel stupid even saying that, it  _ shouldn’t matter –  _ but it does matter! It matters. I want to be pretty and I want you to find me attractive and I feel like a failure for wanting it. And for not getting it right.”

“Oh,” he said quietly.

The truth was, Nick  _ didn’t  _ think about it much. She was obviously beautiful, from an objective standpoint, but there plenty of things about her that were far more compelling. Her mind, for one. The way her sense of humor was a perfect complement to his. The way she could handle him without ever making him feel inferior. The superficial stuff was just that: superficial. He knew there were guys out there who focused on that kind of thing, but he wasn’t one of them, and he hadn’t thought she would get that impression from him. He scooted to the edge of the bed and reached out a paw. “If I give you a hug, is it going to hurt?”

“No.”

She sagged into him when he put his arms around her from behind, kissing her shoulder for the hell of it before running his muzzle along the side of her face. She was tense. She had been since she’d gotten back from the academy. He’d chalked it up to stress, but maybe… “What made you think that I thought your scars were ugly?”

“There’s this diner by the academy,” she told him, bringing her paws up to touch his. “It’s made for small mammals, and it’s 24-hours, so I go there to study sometimes if I can’t sleep. You know that neckerchief you gave me when I left?”

He smiled into her neck. It was a little green thing that held scent fairly well, and he’d made sure it smelled like him at her request. “Yeah.”

“I had it on me – I missed you – and there was this group that came in. I don’t really know what I did wrong, but it was like they were all mad at me, and one of the vixens said I didn’t deserve “whatever dog I stole it from,” because I let another fox mark me. She said it was really important that I...that in fox culture females should be strong enough to…”

“Stop, Judy.” She took a deep breath and he focused on his own breathing, making sure to breathe in time with her. Nick pressed a light kiss to the outer shell of her left ear and stroked her collarbone with a thumb. “I should have warned you about this kind of harassment, but I forgot it happens, because as a rule foxes avoid interspecies relationships. Our parents warned us never to stray from our own species.  _ Their  _ parents warned  _ them,  _ and  _ their  _ parents warned  _ them... _ that’s the way it’s been forever. I know bunnies are a lot more accepting of interspecies stuff, but to a fox, it’s...more than just taboo. A lot of traditionalists think it should be a crime.”

“But Finnick’s not like that,” she said. “Ian’s not like that. Your mom’s  _ definitely  _ not like that.”

“I’m pretty sure my mom thinks you’re a vixen in a bunny suit, but yeah, you’re right. That’s why I forgot, Carrots. In Zootopia proper, the attitude – especially amongst the younger generation – is more open. Out in the sticks, though, or out by the academy, you’re going to get plenty of foxes mired in that staunch traditionalism.”

“I feel like...maybe it  _ should  _ bother you, though, like she said.”

“Do you really think I’m in any way a traditionalist?”

“I mean the – the scars.” She folded in a little further, and Nick pretended he didn’t notice. “She’s right, isn’t she? Another fox marked me. I wasn’t strong enough. A vixen would have been.”

Was that still bothering her? “You were a kit, Judy.”

“I was seventeen. Hardly a kit. I was dumb, though, and  _ mean,  _ and I was too weak to stop it and I hate feeling like this because I  _ know  _ what you’re going to say, I  _ know  _ you’re going to say that I’m being overdramatic, but I can’t help feeling like she’s right, I don’t deserve you. And now I’m going to have more scars because I…”

He closed his eyes and breathed in the tang of her distress. Judy’s biggest character flaw was her tendency to brush off things that bothered her until they came back to bite her in the rear. In her zeal to prove to herself (and everyone else) that she was strong, she forgot that it was okay to struggle. Mammals constantly expected her to be overly emotional and unreliable, so in order to be taken seriously she sometimes had to pretend she had no negative feelings at all. 

“The world isn’t fair,” he murmured. “Most of it’s garbage, actually, but not you. Okay? You’re this shining beacon. You’re not just pretty, you’re  _ beautiful.  _ I just didn’t know you cared to hear that. That vixen was saying what she’s heard from her elders her whole life, and she’s  _ wrong;  _ she’s the one losing. Not you, and not me. Remember what we promised? That we’re not gonna use the word “deserve?” It’s not about deserving, it’s about choosing. I love you, and I  _ choose  _ to take the opportunity to show you that I love you. I love your heart, and your brain, and your muscles, and I love the way your nose twitches, and I love the way you burrow under me when we sleep. I even love your scars. They’re part of you, no matter where you got them. I would  _ never  _ hold that against you. Against him? Oh, yeah. We probably shouldn’t meet, because you’ll have to put me in cuffs so I don’t give into the urge to do something dumb. But never against you.”

“...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she offered eventually, gripping his forearm tightly. “I kept thinking if I just didn’t say anything, it would go away on its own, like most problems do. I should have realized it would hurt you.”

“You don’t have to put up a front with me,” he returned, tightening his arms around her. She was so warm and alive there, a presence filling up their tiny room. “You know that, right?”

He felt her nod. “I know I’m safe with you. I’m just not always  _ smart  _ with you.”

“And that’s okay. I’m not always smart with you either.” He took a breath. “You’re probably going to run into some of that prejudice again, but don’t listen to them. They don’t matter. Listen to  _ me,  _ Judy. You’re beautiful. I’m in this for the long haul, so it may not occur to me to tell you that all the time because it’s just one thing on a very long list of things to love about you, but you  _ are  _ beautiful, inside and out. I am  _ honored  _ to have you in my life.”

Her tremors were small, but he could smell salt, and he knew she was crying a little. He hoped they weren’t sad or angry tears. After a little while, she wiped her eyes and said, “Thanks, Nick. Stupid things always seem worse when you’re trying to ignore them. I should have just said something.”

He nodded. “And next time you will. You’re  _ not  _ stupid. You learn from your mistakes.”

“I’m so incredibly lucky to have you, Nick.”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” he agreed. This was a reminder that outside their little bubble, species was more than just a set of physical traits. There was culture to think about, and although they didn’t care much about public perception, there was still danger of a more mundane sort. They would deal with it as it came. In the meantime…

“I want to pay you back for earlier,” he said into the base of her ear. “What do you say? Will you let me?”

In the meantime, being there for each other could be whatever they wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> What? Unsubtle metaphor? Me? You must be joking.


End file.
